Love in the Time of Studio

A half large bag of Doritos, a box of chocolates and a couple of lollipops later, I find myself in the same position I was 10 hours ago, actively avoiding any academic responsibilities and eating myself into a state of immobility. All under the guise of "single on Valentine's Day." I just need to watch The Notebook while eating the brownies currently baking in the oven and my day will be complete...

Disgusting, I know. But you have to cut me a little slack. This is the first Valentine's Day I've spent alone since I was 16. So I'm going to make the most (er, least) of it. I'm just glad it's a long weekend and I didn't have to be in studio... Don't get me wrong, going to studio and hacking up chip board after yet another fight turned irrational break up is always a cathartic distraction. But when the initial all-nighter hype wears off and you're stuck with half a completed model at 5AM, it's nice to know that there will be a shoulder to pass out on when the clock strikes 1PM the next day.

Relationships in studio are tricky. Balancing sleep and work is hard enough without adding a love interest into the mix. Sleep and love interest eventually meld into one entity, anyway, and taking the Owl line to your boyfriend's apartment where he's already been asleep for a good couple of hours replaces dinner plans and movie dates. But the problems don't only arise from (lack of) time. Knowing you can't see him for for a solid three days because of studio can become emotionally taxing, especially when you're under unusual amounts of stress. Stress that leads to irrational and often erratic behavior, when the most innocent of comments could trigger mood swings and hissy fits galore. Boyfriends (and girlfriends) can only be patient for so long.

Still, there are those who seem to have mastered the game. This relationship master is able to hold a job, exercises what seems to be every other day, has yet to pull a real all-nighter, manages to get her work done for other classes and still has time for a boyfriend (who is an engineering major, nonetheless). Also known as: my hero. I suppose I shouldn't make sweeping comments about this girl's happiness when I know nothing about the inner-workings of their relationship, but as far as I can tell, she is doing something right. Her boyfriend is often seen on his laptop, working on his homework at her side as she puts together her model. Or he comes in with his bike at the wee hours of the morning so that they may walk home together. She never loses her temper even when I know she is frustrated, and she just gently kisses him on the cheek when she's able to tear herself away from her work. Vomit-inducing and heart-melting all at once.

There is also the rare example of the studio couple. I think it's an ideal situation, though I've heard from a first-hand source that that's not necessarily the case. Still I think it would be comforting, in most cases, to have my significant other suffering along with me, understanding from experience the aches and pains of studio and being a bit more lenient of my bipolarity. (On the other hand, I'm not sure if I'd want him to see that side of me...)

My past relationships fall into neither of these categories. But I think I've gone through enough "what not to do"s to be able to eventually stumble into a functioning relationship. It is going to be difficult going through my toughest studio yet without the comfort of that significant other, but it's something I need to do. I have become too dependent on the the constant presence of another for my happiness. It's time I did it alone.

(Okay, this was actually written on Valentine's Day, and I just never posted it. I still feel the same way. For the most part.)

Until next time,
Katharine